Waterworld: Day 1

Today while looking through the movies I could watch on Netflix's streaming service I saw a little jewel. And by jewel I mean of course mean the 175 million dollar turd know only as Waterworld. I myself have never made it all the way through the 136 minute stinker but I've always wanted to try. No I'm a busy guy, and I don't have 2 hours and 15 minutes just laying around in my week to give up to watching a terrible movie...but a do have 5 minutes a day. So for the next few week I'll be give Kevin Costner 5 minutes a day and reporting on it here along side my regular posts. Here is the first 5 minutes of Waterworld and my thoughts as I watch it.

Day 1: The classic Universal logo appears on screen...but ohhh no! All the land is getting covered by water. Hmmmm I guess that's what they mean by "Waterworld." An announcer says something apocalyptic and we see the ocean. Camera comes in a boat lookin thing and then it gets right to the good stuff. This movie is not wasting any time, Costner is peeing into a bucket, filtering it, and then drinking it! He also gives some of it to his tiny little lime tree. Uh oh, something is happening. No we see the interior of the boat. Costner just put some pebbles into a gadget and dove into the water. We're seeing a lot of different gadgets now. Useless stuff like a wind powered harmonica and a bike chair. The pebbles that Costner dropped are now causing some kinda Rube Goldberg like reaction and someone is stealing his ripe limes! Costner has arisen from the water with lots of new junk including some stylish new ski boots and then notices a boat floating next to his. Times up, more tomorrow.