Waterworld: Day 7

This post is part of an ongoing project where I attempt to watch all of Waterworld in 5 minute chunks.

The jet-ski's are coming in fast. The jet-skis them selves? Not in brand new condition. They look a little worn in. There's also a boat with some rough lookin dudes on it. One of them has a shotgun. I'm sure he's not the only one packing heat though. Some one just yelled kill which suggests that my theory was correct, they are in fact bad news.

The city is going into defense mode! (Which really just means they're closing the windows and lining up around the top of the city/island/town. One of the elders said something along the lines of "We're safe behind this wall...aren't we?" to another of the elders and then his mouth just lingered there as if he was expecting a kiss.

The bad guys have surrounded the island, and started to just dilly dally around and make they're presence know. The camera keeps panning around their machine guns and weapsons to let us know that they are in fact dangerous. And now for the villain reveal! An evil looking bald man sitting on a throne that is mounted on one of the big bad guy boats. It's Dennis Hopper! Smoking a cigarette! The whole freaking world is water, where did he find cigarettes?!?! He said something about the key to city, but I was to distracted to actually comprehend it because my mind is still hung up on the cigarette thing. I can hear people loading their weapons, I guess they're about to attack. BULLETS EVERYWHERE.

The bullets just keep coming. For a long time. There are also flaming arrows, Molotov cocktails, hoses, and sling shots in the fight. It's pretty much chaos for awhile. There is even bad guys water skiing? This is just stupid. That would be the worst way to travel/attack. Ohhhh I see know they are on water skis so that they can ramp off the big ramps and get into the city. Well, I was wrong that's not stupid at all! Now the jet-skis are jumping too. This town is screwed! Haha another water skier tried to do the jump but just hit the wall. What a great gag.

More chaos...and then the best thing I've seen in this movie yet. We've got a third and final water skier getting ready to jump the ramp. He hits the ramp, everything is looking good. He does it, he makes the jump. He's in the town! but wait oh no, something is in the way of his landing. IT IS A CAGED UP KEVIN COSTNER!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?!

Hobby Time: Bikes

Home cooking, puppy dog, family, and my parent's huge TV are some of my favorite things about coming home for the holidays. One of my other favorite things is riding my bike in the suburbs of Houston. I am by no means an avid bike rider. I know very little about how to properly bike and things like that, but I do love riding.

Unfortunately the hills of Austin, Tx are a huge pain in my legs. I live in S. Austin so I can ride in pretty much any direction and find nothing but huge hills. When I'm back home in Houston i can ride for hours without having to worry about riding up an incline.

The Art of Waterworld

Every year before Christmas a group of my friends and I have a big Christmas party, among the festivites are feasting, unsecisarrily compilcated traditions, and, of course, presents. This year my friend Casey Polacheck gave me this awesome painting of me and Kevin Costner kicking in the magical world of Waterwold.

8-bit Xmas

Video game Christmas tree as seen on 8BitFix

SemiReview: Men of a Certain Age

Just now I turned on the TV and caught the last 5 minutes of the second episode of "Men of a Certain Age" and I think I'm in love. To be fair it was only 5 minutes, but it went straight for the heart. It was funny, sweet, sad and sincere. The three main actors (Ray Romano, Andre Braugher, and Scott Bakula) have great chemistry and act like friends actually act. 3 old guys living life, drinking beer, and cursing; based on my brief exposure to the show I want to see more.

Arrested Development Clip

There's nothing like a little bit of Arrested Development to brighten your day.

Demos of the Year

Sometimes I'll download and play the demo of a game and then never get around to actually playing the game. Here is my list of the the best demos that I played of games that I didn't for 2009.

Game Self: Guitar Hero World Tour

I have two virtual Proctors in the world of "Guitar Hero World Tour," one a bald headed glam rock guitarist (not pictured), the other a scruffy looking drummer with a slight resemblance to myself. At the end of the day the only resemblance the drummer and I have are blonde hair. Mine is short, his is long. I've got no scruff and he's got a plenty. I have no rhythm, he has some. But like my gang leader in Saint's Row 2 I thought I'd try and imagine what I'd look like as a drummer...and I guess this is it. Drummer on a big purple drum set. Wearing a t-shirt with a shark on it. And having two sleeves worth of obnoxious tattoos.

Shadow Complex only $10

Last week Xbox's Major Nelson announced December's Xbox Live releases as well as what's going to be on sale in the coming month. Among the announcements he said that during the week of December 21st this year's side scrolling shooter "Shadow Complex" would be on sale for only 800 Microsoft point (That's $10 in real money).

Finally! I don't know why, but I never a end up buying downloadable games onto my Xbox. It probably has to do with the pain of converting money to Microsoft points and then not being able to just buy enough point for what I want to purchase. Regardless, I will be buying Shadow Complex because for $10 it is a steal.

Love/Hate: Watching No Reservations

Love: Watching Anthony Bourdain, or anyone for that matter, eat delicious looking foods from other countries. I love food, a lot. Problem is that I'm not any good at making any, and I'm pretty cheap so I rarely want to go spend money on it. My solution is simple, watch other people eat food on TV. Bourdain goes around the globe and does exactly what I want to see, he goes to the places where great food comes from and eats it. Perfect.
Hate: Bourdain's narration telling me how each of his trips is like an out of body experience and how he constantly considers leaving his cool New York City lifestyle to relax in a small hut somewhere on an Asian island. It happens every freaking time! I get it, travel is cool. Seeing people live differently than you do is crazy, but I'm tired of hearing you yap about the same thing in every episode. Stop talking and EAT SOMETHING.

This Week in Food

Waterworld: Day 6

This post is part of an ongoing project where I attempt to watch all of Waterworld in 5 minute chunks.

Costner's cage is slowly being lowered and some old man is chanting something. Costner is shaking the cage as it gets closer and closer to a vat of some sort of yellow substance, maybe a big bowl of mustard? The bartender is looking up at him with a worried expression. I sense there could be some kind of love connection here.

And all of a sudden we're looking at a man with a telescope and the music has started to hint at some kind of tension or problem. Oh yeah, definitely a problem. Something is heading toward the island. The telescope man notices and starts yelling something. Spartans? Spiders? Smokers?

Whew! The island goes into a state of emergency RIGHT BEFORE Costner is submerged in the mustard like substance. Bells are ringing, people are screaming, looks like there is about to be a riot. A whole fleet of jet-skis are approaching. This looks like big time trouble

Game Self: Saint's Row 2

A good portion of modern video games allow players to customize their virtual self's looks, clothes, and movement and I, as a gamer, have always been fascinated with what people make themselves look like in these games. I love to see what my friends make their characters look like in all the different games. I tend to make my characters look similar to my real life self but I'll usually make a few changes based on the setting of the game and action that I'm doing in the game. For example here is my character from last years Saint's Row 2. I tried to make my character look like what I would look like...if I was a gang leader.

Impressions: Lego Rock Band

Last night I got the chance to play a little bit of "Lego Rock Band" aka the worst idea for a game ever! The game plays just exactly like regular "Rock Band" except that everything is made of Legos. What?!?! The game isn't worthless though. It is the only rhythm/music game to feature Europe's 1986 classic The Final Countdown. And it is AWESOME.

Trailer: ODB Doc.

It's been 5 years since Wu-Tang memeber Ol' Dirty Bastard died and now the first Wu endorsed documentary about the late great ODB is soon to be released. Here's the trailer. I'm pumped!

Ol Dirty Bastard Documentary Trailer Brooklyn Zu

Freestyle Cypher from the BET Awards

I wrote a little bit about my recent love for Nicki Minaj yesterday, this video is what originally turned me on to here. All 4 of the rappers that are free styling in the video do really well but Nicki and Joe Budden are my favorites.

Review: Small Worlds

In 15 short minutes David Shute's Small Worlds gave me a sense of exploration that I haven't felt in over 10 years. Small Worlds is a simple flash game where players are tasked with nothing but exploring and discovering a beautiful world. There are no bad guys, no challenges, just exploration.

All of the worlds you travel to are beautiful pieces of art that are slowly uncovered as you hop around the world, the more you discover the more you want to play. The game also features a fantastic score, and even better than that is free. Small Worlds is more of an experience than a game, an experience that you shouldn't pass up.

Dragon Age: Orgins = Time Suck

I'm 11 hours into Bioware's latest medieval rpg and I don't think I ever want to stop playing. One of the best games I've ever played. Currently I'm playing through the game as a dwarven warrior who was born in the slums, but I'm already planning my character for my next play-through, but it looks like it'll be awhile before I finish my character. The game is deep, has great characters, deep story, and some very dark stuff. The game looks like Fable II and plays like Baulder's Gate II. You couldn't ask for a better combination.

Strange Games of 00's Vol. 3

Part 3 of my "Games I shouldn't have liked...but did" list of the last ten years .

2004: Backyard Wrestling 2: There Goes the Neighborhood (Xbox)
Never once in my life have I had any urge to watch the backyard wrestling movies that you sometimes see ads for late at night, but for some reason in 2004 I rented "Backyard Wrestling 2: There Goes the Neighborhood." I guess it was some kind of fluke but it was for the better. The game, which pits white trash warriors against each other in a homemade back yard wrestling ring, was actually one of the only enjoyable wrestling games I've ever played. I have no real interest in watching professional wrestling on TV, but for some reason I've always wanted to enjoy a wrestling game. Backyard Wrestling was the only time I've had fun and been good at a wrestling game. I guess it didn't hurt that you could break flourecent light bulbs on people's heads and play as Andrew W.K.

2005: Dynasty Warriors 5 (Ps2)
Feel free to disagree but I think that all six Rocky movies are pretty much the same. Sure some of the characters and settings change...but at the end of the day it's just Stallone getting all sweaty and fighting someone. That's not to say the movies are bad, in fact I like them. I have the same relationship with the Dynasty Warriors franchise. They're all pretty much the same game, but that hasn't stopped me from playing them. The basic gist is you are an old time Chinese army commander and you fight a ton of bad guys...over and over again. Dynasty Warriors 5 was no different, it was basically the same game I'd been playing for the but I still played the crap out of it.

Flash Game: Canabalt

Need a quick distraction from studying? Try Canabalt. It's a simple flash game where you run through a city as it invaded by robot-aliens. It sounds complicated, but isn't. It's a quick, easy, one button game that is fun for at least 3 minutes.