Whedon's Dollhouse Canceled

Why is it that every time one of my favorite shows gets canceled that Fox is at the helm? They aren't terrible shows. First it was Futurama, which is o.k. I guess, at least they managed to go 5 seasons without getting the cord pulled. Next was Firefly. Then they hit me with a big one. Arrested Development, which is as far as I'm concerned the funniest program that has ever and will ever be on T.V. I thought it was over, but news broke today the Fox has canceled Joss Whedon's science fiction show Dollhouse.

Dollhouse took awhile for me to really get into, but once it started to pick up I was in it. The acting was great, the story incredible, and the pace perfect but still Fox couldn't find the right viewers. Seems like that is always the problem. Maybe Fox just doesn't put enough effort into properly marketing their programing.

Unfortunately that is something I can't change and with that I leave you a short video of David Cross' opinion on the matter. (Video includes some profanity)

Waterworld: Day 2

This post is part of an ongoing project where I watch 5 minutes of Waterworld a day until I finish it.

Day 2: We are starting with some action today. Costner jumps up and is arming his mounted harpoon gun. He looks mad. There is a man in another boat...wearing nearly nothing. They start communicatiing in a language that I'm not familar with. I think they're bartering. This naked dude is bad news. Costner and I can both tell. Costner is trying to make a deal, but he looks weary. Apparently there is a supply station eight days east of where they are. Costner says "Nothings free in Waterworld." That quote should probably be on the movie poster, or in the trailer or something.

Camera cuts to some gross lookin gentlemen that are sitting on some Mad Max style jet skis. They look like trouble. Haven't shaved or bathed in a long while. The naked guy calls them smokers and then starts trying to escape. He admits he stole the limes as he sails away. Costner swings over to his tree to double check he then sets his sails up. Now the boat looks cool! The Mad Max lookin guys are astonished and they have guns! They are heading twords Costners shipping in a race for some supplies that are floating in the ocean. Costner grabs the supplies and turns the boat around to try and get his limes back. The naked guys sees him coming and thinks "Uh Oh!" Costner's boat comes up fast and takes out the naked man's sail. Then the jet ski guys MURDER tha naked guy with they're future guns. We see a lot of dramatic shots of Costner's boat sailing through the night and then he arrives in front of a floating fortress.

Waterworld: Day 1

Today while looking through the movies I could watch on Netflix's streaming service I saw a little jewel. And by jewel I mean of course mean the 175 million dollar turd know only as Waterworld. I myself have never made it all the way through the 136 minute stinker but I've always wanted to try. No I'm a busy guy, and I don't have 2 hours and 15 minutes just laying around in my week to give up to watching a terrible movie...but a do have 5 minutes a day. So for the next few week I'll be give Kevin Costner 5 minutes a day and reporting on it here along side my regular posts. Here is the first 5 minutes of Waterworld and my thoughts as I watch it.

Day 1: The classic Universal logo appears on screen...but ohhh no! All the land is getting covered by water. Hmmmm I guess that's what they mean by "Waterworld." An announcer says something apocalyptic and we see the ocean. Camera comes in a boat lookin thing and then it gets right to the good stuff. This movie is not wasting any time, Costner is peeing into a bucket, filtering it, and then drinking it! He also gives some of it to his tiny little lime tree. Uh oh, something is happening. No we see the interior of the boat. Costner just put some pebbles into a gadget and dove into the water. We're seeing a lot of different gadgets now. Useless stuff like a wind powered harmonica and a bike chair. The pebbles that Costner dropped are now causing some kinda Rube Goldberg like reaction and someone is stealing his ripe limes! Costner has arisen from the water with lots of new junk including some stylish new ski boots and then notices a boat floating next to his. Times up, more tomorrow.

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus Poster

Just saw this poster for Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus at /film and all I can say is finally a new Verne Troyer flick....I guess there's that whol Heath Ledger thing too.

Game Review: Brütal Legend

When I think of Heavy Metal I don't think of any specific song or band, but instead my mind is taken to a mystical and magical land filled with demons, dragons, warriors and vikings. Tim Schafer's Brütal Legend creates that world and lets gamers explore it with a little help from Jack Black.

The game has you controlling legendary heavy metal roadie Eddie Riggs, voiced by Black, as he travels a fantasy world of heavy metal and teams up with a small group of rebels in an attempt to end the tyrannical rule of a demon warlord. In doing so the game has you chopping up enemies with your enchanted battle axe, whaling on the guitar to summon lightning and fire, commanding armies of headbangers and speeding through the terrain in your custom hot rod.

Brütal Legend is a blast to play, mostly because of the hilarious story and the brilliantly casted characters. Most of the main characters you encounter are voiced by metal legends like Ozzy Osborne and Lemmy Killmister or talented Hollywood actors like Black and Tim Curry. The characters and event that unfold are so perfect that you'll have trouble putting down your controller after playing though a couple of missions.

The game starts out as a gore filled hack and slash but eventually transforms into a real time strategy where you are controlling a big army while fighting along side it. The transformation feels strange at first, but over the course of the game it clicks and starts to be really fun. The transformation makes it so that the game never gets to repetitive.

If you have ever loved heavy metal than you must play Brütal Legend. It's as simple as that. Double Fine studio has created a love letter to heavy metal fans in the form of Brütal Legend. If metal isn't your thing then I'd have a hard time telling you to buy the game, but for those of us who've shouted at the devil Brütal Legend needs to be played.

Keanu Watch: Sweet November

Keanu Watch is back and better then ever...and by better I mean terrible. This morning I turned on my TV and guess what was waiting for me on HBO. Sweet November, the 2001 Keanu Reeves/Charlize Theron tear fest.

This time Keanu plays a spacey business man dedicated to his job whose life changes after a chance encounter with a quirky Theron. Theron asks Keanu to be her "November" and he goes with it. What being some one's "November" means? We don't know and neither does Keanu, but of course we'll find out. Things happen. Blah Blah Blah. They fall in love. Blah Blah Blah. Keanu realizes the Theron has been with a different man each month for a long while. Blah Blah Blah. Turns out she cancer. Blah Blah Blah. He proposes. She says no. Blah Blah Blah. He's the only person she ever wanted to say yes to when they proposed but she wants him to have a good memory of her. She leaves and goes to her family to die. He sits in a park. Predictable? Yes. Done before? Pretty much. Boring? Yes.

The acting, if you can believe it, is worse then the plot. Keanu acts with his usual flair. His delivery is terrible. His character simple, and very boring. Anytime he isn't speaking his face reverts back to it's natural semi-constipated expression. Theron played her character too closely resembled her Mr. F character from Arrested Development which made me constantly question whether or not she was just trying to quirky or if she wasn't all there.

The movie sucked. Plain and simple. Thanks for another stinker Keanu.

Babies are scary

This Halloween was the first since I came to Austin that I've not spent my night watching the crazies out of 6th, but instead spent the night in Georgetown at a frat party. This is really uncharacteristic of me as I'm not really much of a frat party kind of guy but my girlfriend's room mate invited us to her boyfriend's frat party so we decided to check it out.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a blast. The party was fun, the people where great, and there where plenty of awesome costumes. Of course with the good comes the bad and there where plenty of bad costumes to speak of, and with the good and bad also come the scary. Something very interesting happened last night, I saw a costume that I was legitimately afraid of.

There was a guy at the party dressed as a baby. The guy looked older than me and had some dirty looking facial hair. He was wearing a blue long sleeved onesie and a baby hat. Something deep down inside of me churned as I looked at him. Something about the image deeply disturbed me. The more I thought about it them more creepy it got until finally I had to look away. It was a really strange moment. Never before had I felt the way that I did but for those few minutes I was creeped out, afraid, and unbelievably uncomfortable.

So if anyone wants to really get under my skin just throw on a baby costume and show up at my door.